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Monday, 19 May 2014

Three A’s of a Healthy Marriage

Come journey with me, as I take on the challenge of what I call “Alphabet Marriage Series.” There are so many intricacies in making a relationship work; as I explore the alphabet, I will share what I have learnt so far from personal experiences, from other couples and from research. I hope you enjoy this series as much as I will. 
After going through a list of A’s, these three stand out to me; as I think if we incorporate them in our relationships, we will increase the rate of our relationships being successful.

Attention
Reflect on when you just met, and you were getting to know each other for a moment. Remember those long hours on the phone? Texting each other, just to say hi or check in? The date nights gazing into each other’s eyes? I hope by now you get the picture. After marriage these things should not stop! Even now more than ever, your spouse must get your undivided attention, even if it is just 10 minutes every day to catch up on each other’s day. If a child(ren) is in the marriage, extra effort will be needed to have quality alone time with each other. Whatever your story is, too busy at work/tired after work, home chores, taking care of children, etc. clear your schedule and make time for each other. Make time for:
1.      Meaningful conversation, really listening to each other, look into each other’s eyes as you talk.
2.      Keep your courting days in your minds, and keep it alive. Romantic gestures, gifts, date nights etc.
3.      Pay attention to her new hair style, pay attention to his new tie. Remember your compliments.
There are so many other ways to show your spouse you are paying attention, explore your options.

Appreciation
Never take your spouse for granted. Just because your wife is a stay at home wife, doesn’t mean she is obligated to prepare your meals, do laundry, take care of the children etc. She does this out of love, her love for you! Women, just because he goes out to work doesn’t mean he is obligated to clothed and feed you. He does this because he takes pride in being the bread winner and because he loves you. Remember your please and thank you, when she presents you a meal say thank you. When he sweeps the yard, say thank you. For example:
1.      Giving thoughtful gifts
2.      Saying I love you and really mean it.
3.      Do something for your spouse you know they will love. A massage maybe?
Small gestures to show your appreciation will make a big impact on improving and maintaining your relationship.

Acceptance
I’ll be brief with this one. Accept your spouse for who he/she is. This means, accepting your spouse baggage and flaws. This doesn't mean you shouldn't encourage improvement in their lives, achieving their goals and following their dreams. You should never try to change your spouse, unless I think is to make them a better person or improve his/her health.

Relationships will have their challenges; just like all other things in life, if we want to reap the best from it we must work hard at it.