Come journey with me, as I take on the challenge of what I
call “Alphabet Marriage Series.” There are so many intricacies in making a
relationship work; as I explore the alphabet, I will share what I have learnt
so far from personal experiences, from other couples and from research. I hope
you enjoy this series as much as I will.
After going through a list of A’s, these three stand out to
me; as I think if we incorporate them in our relationships, we will increase
the rate of our relationships being successful.
Attention
Reflect on when you just met, and
you were getting to know each other for a moment. Remember those long hours on
the phone? Texting each other, just to say hi or check in? The date nights
gazing into each other’s eyes? I hope by now you get the picture. After
marriage these things should not stop! Even now more than ever, your spouse
must get your undivided attention, even if it is just 10 minutes every day to
catch up on each other’s day. If a child(ren) is in the marriage, extra effort
will be needed to have quality alone time with each other. Whatever your story
is, too busy at work/tired after work, home chores, taking care of children,
etc. clear your schedule and make time for each other. Make time for:
1. Meaningful conversation, really listening to each other, look into each
other’s eyes as you talk.
2. Keep your courting days in your minds, and keep it alive. Romantic
gestures, gifts, date nights etc.
3. Pay attention to her new hair style, pay attention to his new tie.
Remember your compliments.
There are so many other ways to
show your spouse you are paying attention, explore your options.
Appreciation
Never take your spouse for
granted. Just because your wife is a stay at home wife, doesn’t mean she is
obligated to prepare your meals, do laundry, take care of the children etc. She
does this out of love, her love for you! Women, just because he goes out to
work doesn’t mean he is obligated to clothed and feed you. He does this because
he takes pride in being the bread winner and because he loves you. Remember
your please and thank you, when she presents you a meal say thank you. When he
sweeps the yard, say thank you. For example:
1. Giving thoughtful gifts
2. Saying I love you and really mean it.
3. Do something for your spouse you know they will love. A massage maybe?
Small gestures to show your
appreciation will make a big impact on improving and maintaining your
relationship.
Acceptance
I’ll be brief with this one.
Accept your spouse for who he/she is. This means, accepting your spouse baggage
and flaws. This doesn't mean you shouldn't encourage improvement in their
lives, achieving their goals and following their dreams. You should never try
to change your spouse, unless I think is to make them a better person or
improve his/her health.
Relationships will have their
challenges; just like all other things in life, if we want to reap the best
from it we must work hard at it.
