Is Christmas season A time for Break Up?

While I haven't conducted any formal research or polls, based on my observations over the years, it seems that the Christmas season can be challenging for some relationships. I've noticed that a lot of couples tend to break up in the two weeks leading up to Christmas, and I've identified three main reasons for these breakups based on my personal analysis.

3) Does he/she Worth This Expensive gift?

'Tis the season of gift-giving and receiving, and as you shop for your significant other's Christmas present, you carefully examine the quality of the item, hoping that it will be well-received. However, when you see the price tag, you may start to question whether the relationship is worth the financial investment.

It may seem superficial, but hear me out. Instead of spending a significant amount of money on someone who may not be in your life for long, wouldn't it be wise to assess the quality of your relationship before making a big purchase?

Therefore, the third reason on my list of common reasons for breakups during the holiday season is realizing that your significant other is not deserving of the financial investment in expensive gifts.

2). Is This Person Qualified Enough to Meet the Parents?

The holiday season is also a time for traveling to visit family members whom you may not have seen since the last Christmas. Your family members miss you, and as you plan your trip, you start to question whether your significant other is suitable enough to meet your parents and extended family.

After a thorough evaluation of the relationship's current state and its history, you may come to the realization that the person you are with is not someone you want to introduce to your family. This is my second reason for common breakups during the holiday season.

1) New Year, New Beginnings

As the New Year approaches, many of us reflect on the quality of our lives and make plans for the upcoming year to improve them. While evaluating your life, you may also consider your current relationship and whether it is holding you back from experiencing bigger and better things. If your relationship has become dead weight over time, it may be hindering your personal growth.

This is the number one reason why breakups tend to occur during the festive season. The New Year represents new beginnings, and it's a natural time to make a fresh start and prioritize your happiness. If your relationship is broken, this time of year can be particularly eye-opening, as you recognize that it's not working for you.

I acknowledge that this time of year can also be a happy time for many relationships. Couples may get engaged, enjoy the festive season together, and spend more time with each other. However, I cannot overlook the fact that the singles market tends to increase during this Christmas season.

Am I Dateable?

Do you have a checklist of qualities and physical attributes that you are looking for in a potential spouse? It's a common practice, but have you ever considered making a second list for yourself? If not, then you may not be ready to date. The Bible says in Song of Solomon 2:7 ESV, "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases."

To be dateable, you should be able to bring value and contribution to someone else's life. You should be an asset, not a liability. This means finding your purpose, being content with being single, and having plans and visions for your life. Work on yourself before actively searching for a partner. Proverbs 19:2 ESV says, "Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way."

As children, we played games that focused on finding a partner, but they didn't prepare us for being ready for that person. The quest for an ideal partner starts with looking inward. You can work on your communication skills and make lists of desired characteristics, but until you are willing to work on yourself and become the person you hope to be, you may remain unsatisfied in any relationship.

When people ask about what you're looking for in a partner, consider asking yourself, "Am I being the person they are looking for?" It's time to clean house and focus on self-improvement. Ask yourself, "How can I make myself better? Am I complete or a work in progress? How can we make each other better, instead of how can he/she make me better?" Through prayer and self-improvement, you can become the person you want to find.

    Do you have a checklist of qualities and physical attributes that you are looking for in a potential spouse? It's a common practice, but have you ever considered making a second list for yourself? If not, then you may not be ready to date. The Bible says in Song of Solomon 2:7 ESV, "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases."

To be dateable, you should be able to bring value and contribution to someone else's life. You should be an asset, not a liability. This means finding your purpose, being content with being single, and having plans and visions for your life. Work on yourself before actively searching for a partner. Proverbs 19:2 ESV says, "Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way."

As children, we played games that focused on finding a partner, but they didn't prepare us for being ready for that person. The quest for an ideal partner starts with looking inward. You can work on your communication skills and make lists of desired characteristics, but until you are willing to work on yourself and become the person you hope to be, you may remain unsatisfied in any relationship.

When people ask about what you're looking for in a partner, consider asking yourself, "Am I being the person they are looking for?" It's time to clean house and focus on self-improvement. Ask yourself, "How can I make myself better? Am I complete or a work in progress? How can we make each other better, instead of how can he/she make me better?" Through prayer and self-improvement, you can become the person you want to find.

rewrite There is an acceptance that you don’t need a partner to be complete. Your “other half” is NOT! Missing. Your life is not of any less value because you are not yet married. It’s in marriage; I have come to learn this. It’s dangerous to think your partner will complete you. If he/she falls short in “completing” any area of your life you expect, you will be greatly disappointed, and too much pressure is on the other person to make you happy. With prayer and faith you will become content with this stage of life, and come to recognize and accept that a partner is not needed to make you complete or even make you happy. You don’t just sit and wait on the Lord, and think that your life will begin after finding a spouse. Make yourself date-able by working on your career; work on your finances, start saving, get closer to God through studying His words. An advantage of being single is having more time to spend with the Lord, and to work full time in ministry

It's important to acknowledge that having a partner is not necessary for you to feel complete. You are a whole person on your own, and your value and worth do not depend on being married. This is something I've come to realize through my own experiences with marriage. It's dangerous to expect your partner to fill in all the gaps in your life and make you feel complete. If they fall short in any aspect, it can lead to disappointment, and it's unfair to put so much pressure on them to make you happy. By relying on prayer and faith, you can find contentment in this stage of life and recognize that a partner is not needed to make you feel complete or happy.

However, this doesn't mean that you should sit around and wait for a spouse to come into your life. You can make yourself more attractive to potential partners by working on your career, finances, and personal development. By taking these steps, you can become a more well-rounded and desirable partner. Additionally, being single gives you more time to spend with God and work on your spiritual growth, which can be a valuable asset in any relationship.

What I Miss About Being Single

Each stage of life has its own advantages and disadvantages. For instance, during high school, my primary responsibility as a full-time student was to maintain good grades. I didn't have any bills to pay or other major responsibilities. However, the downside was the pressure to achieve those perfect "A" grades. While conversing with my single friends, I realized that they may be fixating too much on finding a partner and may be missing out on the unique experiences of this stage of life. As someone who got married young, I sometimes feel envious of my single friends and reminisce about the two things I miss the most about being single.

I Miss My Friends

Girls Night Out

Although I attended an all-girls high school called St. Hughs, I always preferred hanging out with my male friends. We were just friends, nothing more! I enjoyed their company and even loved to people-watch with them. They would often ask me to help them get a girl's number, and I would also do the same with them. I missed the casual calls to grab lunch and just hang out. Unfortunately, since I got married, these friendships have changed. Out of respect for my marriage, I limit my time with them to social media interactions.

My female friends seem to have forgotten that I have a social life beyond my spouse and children. I rarely get invited to impromptu girls' night out and when I inquire, I often hear excuses like, "You have to go home to your husband," for not being included. It's disheartening, but I have to live vicariously through their pictures. I always end up asking, "Where was my invite?" until they get the message that my social life is not restricted to my family only.

I believe it's time for me to take the initiative and start organizing outings with my friends since spontaneous plans for pizza nights are less likely. Friendship is a two-way street, right? So, I plan on scheduling catch-up sessions with them. After all, maintaining strong friendships is important, even with the demands of marriage and family.

I Miss Alone Time

Alone Time

Nowadays, to have some time for myself, I have to wait until everyone is asleep at night or wake up before everyone else does. I adore my husband and children, but sometimes I wish I could disappear for even just half an hour and have some peace and quiet. No more "Where are my shoes?" or "Mommy, I'm hungry" and endless cries.

I cherish the time I get when my husband takes the kids to grandma's house, but that time is often spent doing chores rather than just putting my feet up and doing what I want. During my single years, I never fully realized how precious quiet time was. I wish I had spent more time in the word of God. Now, I am exhausted, and late-night readings are a daily struggle. It's challenging to find the right time to be with the Lord.

Singles are truly blessed with the privilege of having more free time to fall in love with the Lord over and over again. I pray for my single friends that they are using this time wisely. There is so much more that I miss about being single, but these two things are at the top of my list. I believe that we can always improve these areas and make time for what truly matters. Being single is fantastic, just as having a family is. The key is to be content and happy in whatever stage of life you're at.

It’s My Birthday!!!! Celebrating My Wins

Celebrating my birthday has always been a big deal for me, for as long as I can remember. I would drop hints or be very direct about the gifts I wanted and make a huge fuss over it. I would also try to do something different with my hair and buy two new outfits, one for going out on my birthday and one for church.

However, since getting married, I realized that I would need to adjust my birthday celebrations because my husband views birthdays as "just another ordinary day." Can you imagine? Despite this, I still celebrate my birthday with confetti and drums. I am slowly convincing him to celebrate his birthday with just as much excitement and joy. After all, everyone deserves to feel special on their birthday!

Age 26 2014  Wined and Dined by the Hubby 

   I am Alive!

Another year of life has been granted to me, and that alone is cause for celebration. I believe it's better to celebrate a birthday than to mourn a death. Even in the event of my passing, I would want my loved ones to celebrate my life with a joyous occasion.

Age 22, Pirate themes boat trip

   I Grow in Wisdom

I have one grey hair on my leg as a reminder of the mistakes I made in my youth. I've learned from those experiences and have grown wiser over time. I'm excited to continue learning new life lessons as I journey through life.

Age 21, Glamour Shot Photo Shoot

 More Accomplishments

With each passing year, I've accomplished more than I ever thought possible. Although I know I haven't always done my best in everything, I'm proud of what I have achieved. As a wife, mother, and entrepreneur, I hold a Bachelor's Degree and look forward to wearing these hats with increasing sophistication in the future.

Age 20, What did I do this year? 

  More Time to Love

Celebrating another birthday is a blessing, and it's even more special to have someone to share it with. Having a partner to love and hug every day is a true gift, and I'm grateful for their presence in my life. As a parent, I feel incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to watch my children grow and to show them my love in new ways each day. Another year means more chances to express my love, and I look forward to making the most of them.

Age 19, lol Guess I love the Photo Studio 

   Reflection

Another year of life has been granted to me, and I'm filled with gratitude as I reflect on the many blessings I've received. I'm thankful for my journey, which has been enriched by the many meaningful moments I've shared with loved ones. As I look ahead, I'm excited to create even more unforgettable memories.

I want to express my sincere appreciation to everyone who has made my past birthdays special. My family - my mother Annie, Marlo, father Devon, aunt Marvette, and aunt Nicolette - and my sister Shandece, thank you for your love and support. Of course, a special shoutout to my husband Mallor, who always makes my birthday a special occasion.

To my friends - Oneisha, even though we're long distance, you always make an effort to celebrate with me, and I appreciate it so much. To Stephi-Ann, Kerry-Ann, Carene, and Duklon - thank you for the amazing part 2 of my recent birthday celebrations. And Marlon, I couldn't forget you - merci! If I missed anyone, please know that your love and support is deeply appreciated. Thank you all so much!