Saturday 8 November 2014

What I Miss About Being Single


Each stage of life has its own advantages and disadvantages. For instance, during high school, my primary responsibility as a full-time student was to maintain good grades. I didn't have any bills to pay or other major responsibilities. However, the downside was the pressure to achieve those perfect "A" grades. While conversing with my single friends, I realized that they may be fixating too much on finding a partner and may be missing out on the unique experiences of this stage of life. As someone who got married young, I sometimes feel envious of my single friends and reminisce about the two things I miss the most about being single.


I Miss My Friends

Girls Night Out

Although I attended an all-girls high school called St. Hughs, I always preferred hanging out with my male friends. We were just friends, nothing more! I enjoyed their company and even loved to people-watch with them. They would often ask me to help them get a girl's number, and I would also do the same with them. I missed the casual calls to grab lunch and just hang out. Unfortunately, since I got married, these friendships have changed. Out of respect for my marriage, I limit my time with them to social media interactions.

My female friends seem to have forgotten that I have a social life beyond my spouse and children. I rarely get invited to impromptu girls' night out and when I inquire, I often hear excuses like, "You have to go home to your husband," for not being included. It's disheartening, but I have to live vicariously through their pictures. I always end up asking, "Where was my invite?" until they get the message that my social life is not restricted to my family only.

I believe it's time for me to take the initiative and start organizing outings with my friends since spontaneous plans for pizza nights are less likely. Friendship is a two-way street, right? So, I plan on scheduling catch-up sessions with them. After all, maintaining strong friendships is important, even with the demands of marriage and family.



I Miss Alone Time

Alone Time

Nowadays, to have some time for myself, I have to wait until everyone is asleep at night or wake up before everyone else does. I adore my husband and children, but sometimes I wish I could disappear for even just half an hour and have some peace and quiet. No more "Where are my shoes?" or "Mommy, I'm hungry" and endless cries.

I cherish the time I get when my husband takes the kids to grandma's house, but that time is often spent doing chores rather than just putting my feet up and doing what I want. During my single years, I never fully realized how precious quiet time was. I wish I had spent more time in the word of God. Now, I am exhausted, and late-night readings are a daily struggle. It's challenging to find the right time to be with the Lord.

Singles are truly blessed with the privilege of having more free time to fall in love with the Lord over and over again. I pray for my single friends that they are using this time wisely. There is so much more that I miss about being single, but these two things are at the top of my list. I believe that we can always improve these areas and make time for what truly matters. Being single is fantastic, just as having a family is. The key is to be content and happy in whatever stage of life you're at.