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Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Christians and "Dirty Talk"


I think most Christian couples choose not to use similar words in bed as they would with their teachers, friends etc.  A line is drawn for the type of language they use due to a number of personal choices that are influenced by many different things. There are those who when they hear an expletive (‘bad word’) in bed they are reminded of a culture they want to be separated from. However, for others, using these words is the primary source of an intense arousal.

You have those Christians who you will never hear utter a word of expletive no matter how keenly you are trying to listen. But, you might be shocked if you should listen in on their bedroom actions, because when they are with their partners no word is taboo; since they have built a relationship of respect and trust with each other. So when their spouse tells them exactly how they are feeling and thinking sexually, whatever word is used to describe it; makes it that much hotter for them. They are not offended because they are fully aware that their partner is not saying it with any disrespect at all. Yes, they are Christians who find ‘dirty talk’ erotic. Personally as long as the words are not used out of context there won’t be any confusion. If it is that you walk around telling persons to “F-OFF” or call them derogative names stemming from body parts the feeling might be different, but if the words are only used in the bedroom you may find they bring spice to the relationship.

If you desire to start incorporating ‘dirty talk’ begin with something that has a little more edge from what you are used to. Maybe you’re usually quiet during the act; begin then with saying what you are thinking, tell your spouse what you want them to do. If usually you say “Are you up for sex tonight?” why not try “I have the hots for you now, I want you inside me.” It’s not a guarantee that all the time the words will feel right. Variety DOES offer SPICE to life. SO begin with small changes and discover what the both of you will like. Every couple’s comfort level is different, so experiment and find out what yours is.

Certain words, due to culture or personal life experiences, bring up feelings of disrespect, oppression and in turn make you feel dirty. So, if you’re uncomfortable with the words your partner uses during intercourse, speak up! On the other hand, if it is something that you WANT to try; SPEAK UP as well.

Sunday, 14 October 2012

Oral sex: Good or Bad?


There are so many debates surrounding this topic. In this blog I won’t be “arguing” the topic, just stating my views and you the reader is free to comment with your own opinions on the subject.
In Jamaica as Jamaicans we tend to shy away from this topic especially in public settings. Jamaicans would agree we are an anti-oral sex country; most of our music that the public gets is negative on the subject. However, a great number of Jamaicans are involved, well in my opinion. For example, having been on several social networking sites I have gotten many many offers to be “eaten.” Many other females here in Jamaica might have this experience too. I assume that somehow these negative songs about oral sex have somehow sparked the interest of our citizens to want to try out what they might be missing. Or could it be that because it is so forbidden by social norms why actually indulging in the act makes it that much more appealing?
When I was a teen, I was attending a crusade and on the delegated night for a family life topic the evangelist touched this very same topic. He made it clear that sex was created by God. In my opinion the greatest sex and love stories are from the bible in Songs of Solomon. Read it and pray for its understanding. The following are texts from This Book of Solomon
I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. 2:3
My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies. 2:16
Come ... blow upon my garden that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits. 4:16
"Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies." 7:2
"I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate." 8:2
Concerning oral sex within Christian discussions, the most cited is Song of Solomon.
Song of Solomon 2:3- says - Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. This passage refers to Fellatio and 4:16 refers to cunnilingus- … May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits!
If you continue to Solomon 5:1 you might agree with me that he encourages husband and wives to drink and eat freely from each other’s bodies. When you open the scripture and read it you will realize it portrays oral sex just as normal as eating, expressing love joyfully and passionately between woman and man.

Negatives of Oral sex
After researching somewhat extensively, I have found that just like with intercourse, there are STD’s related illnesses that come with oral sex. But, like it is with sexual intercourse, if partners are faithful to each other then getting an STD from the act is out of the question.
I will conclude by saying this, both partners should have a say with respect to adding oral sex to their sexual menu. If one partner is for it and the other is against it, then you may need to just forget about it.  On the other hand, if you are both for it then do I think Oral sex is a sin? No. But I do I think forcing your partner to engage in the act if they do not want to do it is the wrong thing to do. 






Friday, 5 October 2012

The Hypocrisies of Men



Men are going to see this title and think “another woman bitching about men,” but that is not the case, these are just observations and after reading and you put away your manly pride you will agree they are true. I on no gender’s side, go ahead read my article on The Hypocrisies of Women.

The hypocrisy of men and their freedom
For the majority of men, even the idea of committing themselves to one woman feels like a life sentence in a room with huge ants eating them alive. This hated “c-word” means to you financial devastation, sacrificing your options of varied sexual partners, loss of independence and the list could go on.

Well men women fear their loss of freedom too! We like the idea of deciding we want to go here today, use our money and buy this, stay over a friend without being questioned the next day etc. But until you are ready to commit I think you should stay away from making advances to woman. The relationship won’t work if you have so many fears. I understand that men naturally are very independent but admit it, deep down you desire love and affection from that one special person and in order to find this love you have to grow some manly balls and get over it!

The hypocrisy of men and their loss of space
I get it that you crave your “manly space” for watching action flicks, tools, cars etc. you fear that when women come around all this will change, you now have to watch some romance flicks from time to time, your  prized leather couch will have to be removed, the windows now have frilly curtains etc. But guess what guys, we women are losing our space too; you are not the only “victims” to relationships. 

Most women love shoes  we worry about where our prized collection will go when we move in. Stop acting like you sit and let women push you around, admit it, the women in your lives sometimes have to put up with action flicks and car shows too. In a relationship you win some and you lose some. We might lose our “womanly space” of staying in bed late on weekends to read a romance novel or just think about the past week and the week to come.  We have lost that space to maybe making breakfast for the men in our lives. So, stop pretending you are the only victims to loss of space, grow some manly balls and get over it!

The hypocrisy of men and their fear of only one partner
This one calls for a LOL! Men the women you are sleeping around with is an indication that they enjoy sexual freedom too don’t you think?  Sadly, gone are the days when partners get together as virgins and lose their virginity to each other in marriage. I might be rude to be speaking as if this is the case for all women, but they can disagree.  Some women have this fear too, the difference is, society dictates that women who had several sexual partners are sluts, hoes etc. and the men are praised as it shows their manhood. Therefore, women are more hush hush about their sexual encounters.

One partner for us also means getting bored, lack of desire just like men do. But women have an additional fear, not having another orgasm again! Why? because the guy they now commit to just don’t “put it on” like another guy she has been with. Men, I ask you this, was their ever a sexual encounter of yours that you didn’t orgasm? If that happens, you find the nearest doctor because you think something must be wrong. However, for women not getting an orgasm in a sexual encounter happens maybe more often than we want it to. So, man up, buy some books and get to reading and spice up your sex life with the ONE partner. And when I say this, I say it to both men and women.

Conclusion
All aspects of relationships and how to make them work can be found in the Bible! The Lord knew what would cause problems in our relationships and he made preparations for us to make them work. Open its pages and start looking; it truly will be worth your while.