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Friday, 4 May 2012

Your Spouse Comes First NOT the Children

I have heard that the most significant relationship in a person’s life is the one they have with their spouse and NOT the children. Personally I believe this is true, and I know many will disagree but the relationship I have with my spouse comes first, the child(dren) comes next.
If have a happy successful marriage, the children will learn a valuable lesson and move on to forging their own lives, the marriage is here to stay and should last till death do us part. The marriage relationship nurtures growth and depth that no other earthly relationship can. Outside the basic necessity, of food, clothing, shelter and loving my child, your spouse should come first! Without a healthy marriage between you and your partner, you can’t be the best parents. Remember the children will eventually leave, and if you allow the children to come first; the strength of your marriage would have been depleted. In my opinion you will feel empty after your children leaves to make their own families; and you will be left unhappy, lonely and depressed. This should not be the case, if you made a vow to your spouse at the altar.
Loving your spouse is the best way to love your children. They deserve to be brought up in a home where parents are loving and supportive of each other wholeheartedly.
When the children are old enough the children will try to come between the parents in order to get their way. If the parents are not united the children will take note, and play the parents against each other. Your children must see a strong union between their parents. I am not going to allow myself to be caught up with doing things for my children that will be at the detriment of my marriage.  Are they not enough divorces already?  Yes, many believe that marriages go and come, for the sake of my marriage I am tossing this statement out. I take my vows to my husband seriously, and since my child means the “universe” to me, I won’t let my marriage be so disposable. My children should not come from a broken home. The couple, who dedicate their lives putting the children first, will realize that after the children reaches age 18 or even older leaves to determine their own paths; the marriage will be gone too. I prefer that doesn’t happen.
Everything works out best if your marriage is grounded firmly. For me and my house, in order for a successful marriage it must be grounded firmly in Christ!

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Dating Your Husband/Wife

Dating your partner shouldn't stop after you get married.  Marriage should not sentence you to grey hair, chores, nagging and a fun-less life. Keep dating; you will continue to learn about your partner while you enjoy each other’s company. Who knows, might even find reasons to fall in love will each other all over again.  Plan a date night at least once a month, there is so much to do, there are no excuses.
All you need to do is leave the house together. I am not disregarding the idea of staying home to watch a movie or bake together. Once in a while this is fine, but is should not be settled on too frequently.
My top 10 picks of activities to do together
  1. Go out to dinner.
  2. Discover new things in the city
  3. See a movie, at the theater
  4. Do a do-over of your first date!!
  5. An Ice cream shop is nice too
  6. Go shopping! Get something both will enjoy
  7. A walk in the park
  8. A trip to another country/city/parish/state to do something new
  9. Romanic  picnic
  10. Visit to couple’s favorite spot “lookout point”
I am open for your suggestions, share your ideas in the comment box provided. 

Is Your Husband Paying for Sex?

Many women would agree that men testosterone surpasses women about 10 times as much. They pretty much wouldn't mind having sex every day. Most women prefer not to every day, they believe there are other things to do. 
The question is, wouldn’t wives be more willing to have sex when the husband’s want if they got paid? Being paid for sex has sigma of prostitution attached to it. The husband’s in some households give their spouse money to “run” the home, if the wife is a stay at home mom; where will that extra money come from to buy other things she need?
Maybe with the paying agreement there will be less fighting. Love alone cannot keep the marriage afloat, love can’t pay the bills right?
I asked myself this question and I came up with several different answers, viewing this issue from varied angles.
Answer #1- Women are being paid by some means or the other. Being it, men investing their time, emotions and even attention to receive what they desire. Maybe there is even bartering buying gifts, men come home with a box of chocolate and some wine; almost guarantee sex later.
Answer #2- Paying for sex is not just a “stigma” in my mind it is the accurate definition. Paying for sex will cheapen your wife, and in my book you are a true bastard. This idea is wrong on many different levels.
Answer #3- Being a husband or wife is more than just playing the role of a playmate. There must be mutual understanding and respect too.  If you supposedly pay your wife for sex out of “love”, very quickly you will realize your wife is losing her respect for you.
Answer #4- The act of sex is consensual. When you pay your wife for sex, is comes across as if she this is the only way she is obligated to make her gross. Somewhat a sex slave for me since my “body” is priceless and my husband wouldn’t be able to afford sex from me. Paying for something that should be free out of love for you makes you pathetic.
Answer #5- Any women who agrees on being paid for sex in my mind is skanky, trashy and cheap. If you can only get sex from your women if she is paid, it’s simple; she doesn't love you!