I have heard that the most significant relationship in a person’s life is the one they have with their spouse and NOT the children. Personally I believe this is true, and I know many will disagree but the relationship I have with my spouse comes first, the child(dren) comes next.
If have a happy successful marriage, the children will learn a valuable lesson and move on to forging their own lives, the marriage is here to stay and should last till death do us part. The marriage relationship nurtures growth and depth that no other earthly relationship can. Outside the basic necessity, of food, clothing, shelter and loving my child, your spouse should come first! Without a healthy marriage between you and your partner, you can’t be the best parents. Remember the children will eventually leave, and if you allow the children to come first; the strength of your marriage would have been depleted. In my opinion you will feel empty after your children leaves to make their own families; and you will be left unhappy, lonely and depressed. This should not be the case, if you made a vow to your spouse at the altar.
Loving your spouse is the best way to love your children. They deserve to be brought up in a home where parents are loving and supportive of each other wholeheartedly.
When the children are old enough the children will try to come between the parents in order to get their way. If the parents are not united the children will take note, and play the parents against each other. Your children must see a strong union between their parents. I am not going to allow myself to be caught up with doing things for my children that will be at the detriment of my marriage. Are they not enough divorces already? Yes, many believe that marriages go and come, for the sake of my marriage I am tossing this statement out. I take my vows to my husband seriously, and since my child means the “universe” to me, I won’t let my marriage be so disposable. My children should not come from a broken home. The couple, who dedicate their lives putting the children first, will realize that after the children reaches age 18 or even older leaves to determine their own paths; the marriage will be gone too. I prefer that doesn’t happen.
Everything works out best if your marriage is grounded firmly. For me and my house, in order for a successful marriage it must be grounded firmly in Christ!