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Monday, 17 September 2012

Are you in a Rebound Relationship?


Let me not assume we all have heard about a rebound relationship. Very quickly this kind of relationship comes very soon after another serious relationship. It is rear to find rebound relationships basing on love; instead they are really a means of alleviating loneliness after the relationship has ended. This rebound phenomenon happens even if you wanted to see an end to the previous relationship.

Yes, it will feel a lot like love; this is in my opinion because you want that feeling of being in love. The feeling of love is something you are accustomed to and you hurry into another relationship because you want to feel love again. I am no expert but from what I have observed and experienced personally this is the case. In reality you are not in love, you are just missing your previous relationship. It is also my opinion that this missing your previous relationship does not necessarily means you want your old partner back, you just want to be involved in a relationship, and when on the rebound this somebody could be just about anybody.

Rebounding usually hurts one partner most, and that is the partner that has genuine feelings for the other. They get deeply hurt after the rebounder finally realizes they were not in love after all. The harsh reality is that you will never be ready for a new relationship if you are not fully over your previous lost. New relationships cannot survive if old wounds have not been properly healed.

How can you judge “enough time” before starting a new relationship? Is there a way to prevent a relationship that is rebound-based? These require very complex answers I believe. Since I am no relationship gurus, this is what I understand. There is really no specific time period. Therefore it is really difficult to protect yourself from a rebound. However, from my understanding there are signs to look out for that you are not over your previous relationship. My top two are:
1.     If your issues from your previous relationship are interfering with a new relationship process. If this is happening, it is clear you are not ready to move on again.
2.     If issues are left unresolved, eg. You are not too clear on why your relationship ended; you are in a rebound relationship.
Therefore, you cannot have a healthy new relationship if you are embracing feelings of an old love or desperately longing to be in a relationship. Love is not something that can be forced on a whim, it must genuinely be found. But it can only happen when your minds and hearts are free from the hurt, issues and hang ups of the previous 
relationship.